After a few months of my depression symptoms getting worse and worse and the suicidal ideation getting stronger and stronger, I decided to hospitalize myself. I practically had to convince the doctor that saw me in the emergency room that I would commit suicide if he didn’t admit me. I know they wanted me to wait it out and see what they could do in outpatient first and give the medicine the chance to kick in. At that point, though, I couldn’t sleep or eat and couldn’t get the suicidal thoughts out of my head, even for a second.
Being hospitalized was one of the scariest things I ever did, but looking back on it now, I believe it was really what I needed. I not only needed medication and a safe place, but I needed some intensive therapy, some ideas of ways to release some feelings, and I needed a chance to figure out what my next steps would be when I was released. I still use things they taught me there every day. more