We often talk about gratitude like it’s the miracle cure. Don’t get me wrong: While I have a lot in my life to be grateful for, gratitude—like mindfulness, eating clean, and other well-intentioned solutions—can have their dark sides.
The then-partner of one of my clients once told her she should be grateful he hadn’t laid a finger on her since the year began. Another’s told him he had nothing to be depressed or traumatized about and should be grateful she was still there with him, despite her escalating abuse. My ex-partner held me emotionally hostage for every tiny piecemeal change he made before regressing to worse behavior.
You see, gratitude can sometimes become your blinders, your ball and chain in an abusive relationship. more
Is it hard to maintain a relationship?
If borderline personality disorder (BPD) were a relationship status, it would be “it’s complicated.”
Despite being in the spotlight lately via TV shows like The CW’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriendand celebrities like SNL’s Pete Davidson, there’s still a lot of unknowns about the mental health condition
That’s in part because BPD is characterized through different personality-based trends and patterns, which are very hard to nail down, says Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D., executive director of Innovation 360, an out-patient clinic in Dallas, Texas. And those patterns can show up in almost every aspect of a person’s life, from how they act in relationships, to how they handle work situations, to even how they handle their own inner thoughts. more
In the fourth grade, I had my first panic attack—at least, the first one I remember. It happened at a softball game. I worked myself up to the verge of tears because of some irrational fear of becoming sick. I had no reason to be so distressed, but I was. Since then, I’ve experienced panic attacks and anxiety triggered by almost anything, even something as illogical as potentially falling ill in the future.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, approximately one in five adults in the U.S. suffer from a mental illness. My mental illness never impacted me on an interpersonal level until I started dating my high school boyfriend, Brian.
However, I have
never dated a person with a mental illness like mine.
I didn’t receive an official diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder or take prescribed medication until age 18. more
You know that anxious knot you get in your stomach when you’ve sent a text and are worried about a reply? Or that itchy feeling you get when your phone is dead and you know you’re supposed to be getting an update? As many of us know, texting anxiety is no joke. But what you may not realize is that it’s not just about looking at your phone too frequently—for some, the anxiety associated with texting culture is turning into a serious mental health issue.
If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety already, it’s easy to see why texting would exacerbate that. Although texting has been around for almost 25 years, it’s only since Blackberrys and other smartphones burst onto the stage that texting really took over. Suddenly, it wasn’t the occasional, painstakingly written message popping up on your Nokia, it was being constantly accessible to everyone you know—friends, partners, even your colleagues and bosses. We’re expected to answer quickly, even engage in full conversations via text, wherever we are. And, with many of us having group texts with our friends, it’s easy to get major FOMO—and keep checking your phone, just in case.
If this sounds like you, here’s what you know about texting anxiety and how to combat it—because it’s a serious issue that’s definitely on the rise. more
When you’ve been burned in the past.
Nothing kills new relationships more quickly than relationship anxiety and obsessively wondering, “Does he like me?”
Let’s say you’ve started dating someone, and you like them a lot. After a few great dates, they said they’d call you on Saturday … but they haven’t yet. At first, you didn’t mind. But, then, it starts to preoccupy your mind and you start feeling anxious and wonder if he still likes you.
Does this sound familiar? One minute, you’re a 30-year-old in the bar with your friends and the next, you’re reacting like you’re a 3-year-old.
Your anxiety worsens and you start getting paranoid. Ultimately, you end up driving your new man away and you’re left alone … again. It becomes a becomes a self-fulfilling, self-sabotaging prophecy.
However, the real problem might not be your new partner. It might be your emotional baggage from past traumas that’s holding you back from falling in love, and it’s time for you to clean it up. more
Men have better sex with women who are emotionally unstable, a study has revealed.
And women prefer men who are less agreeable but pay attention to detail, according to the German survey of a thousand people.
We already know that a person’s perception of how compatible they are with their partner makes for a great sex life.
But until now, how someone’s personality influenced another’s sex life had not been widely studied.
Lead researcher Julia Velten and her colleagues interviewed each volunteer about their sex lives, personality and sexual function. more
When you’re living with a mental health condition, you may wonder whether or not to talk about it with your significant other. And if you’re single, you may wonder if having a mental health condition rules out romance for you. It’s important to know that many people with serious mental illnesses have strong, supportive, long-term relationships.
A good relationship provides valuable social support during difficult times, whereas a bad relationship can worsen your symptoms, particularly in cases of depression. Here we discuss a few of the questions people with mental health conditions ask about romantic relationships. more