Voices, Guns, Paranoia, PLUS, add to that I was self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This recipe was moving me to a Dark place
Voices in my head have me convinced the FBI is watching, I convince myself that I am messing with them!
Part 3 of 3
FROM: INSANE100 BLOG OWNER
To anyone following this blog, I appreciate your support! I started this blog in June of 2018 to share my story of addiction and hearing voices. I am not a great writer, so me and my sister thought putting my story on video might be a better option. In the mean time I have been posting articles dealing with mental health. I hope these articles have brought some attention to mental illness and/or addiction. While I will continue to post articles dealing w/ mental health/illness, I would also like to share my story, any feedback will be appreciated.
Firstly, you need to know what pareidoloia is. It’s defined as seeing patterns where none exist, and while that explains it technically, it doesn’t really make it clear what the psychological phenomenon actually is. Visual pareidolia is when we think we see shapes like faces in inanimate objects, like Jesus on a piece of toast, or a face on Mars.
But pareidolia is also when we think we hear voices or recognizable sounds through white noise. An example of the less well known auditory pareidolia is when you’re taking a shower or hear really loud rain falling on your roof, and you think you hear voices or your phone ringing through the noise. That was how my meth voices started. At first it was just ordinary pareidolia, where there was loud rain or wind and I thought I heard voices, but would realize immediately that it was my imagination. more
Perhaps the most infamous effect of meth on long-term users, though severely understudied, is psychosis. Often called “tweaking,” there are many aspects of psychosis—a severe mental disorder in which people lose contact with reality, very similar to acute paranoid schzophrenia.
A psychosis is generally characterized by:
- strange beliefs about things that aren’t plausible
- insects crawling under the skin
- feeling overly suspicious of people
- feeling like other people are ‘out to get you’
- hearing voices
- seeing things that aren’t there
- talking to people who aren’t real
- peeking out the window
- taking things apart and putting them back together
Often, the paranoia a user experiences becomes debilitating. Paranoia is a self-reinforcing loop of beliefs that escalates in a fearful emotional state. Meth can distort reality, altering belief systems, and lessens the ability to control emotions, making fear and anxiety prevalent. more