Vin Jay – Addicted (Music Video)


I just want the pain to fucking go away I swear to God they’ll probably never understand me Sick of just walking around, pretending I’m happy Feel like collapsing from all weight that I carry But I just keep it pushing and pop me another Xanny

Know it’s sad but I remember as a kid it was rough Always thought we had it all, what I was missing was love And always drowning in some waters that were thicker than blood

Still they wonder how the fuck I got addicted to drugs, damn But they don’t get that I’m avoiding feeling pain Only time I feel alive is when there’s poison in my veins

Momma telling me to look at what I’m doing to myself But I just wanna be fucking happy like everybody else They looking down on me like I’m the fucking villain I don’t wanna talk about it, I know they don’t wanna listen I was only tryna make up for the feeling I was missing If I’m only feeling pain, tell me, what’s the point of living Every day I’m waking up and tryna deal with the stress And I’ve been acting like I’m happy when my life is a mess

And all I know is that I got this fucking pain in my chest And I would love to get clean but I’m too fucking depressed, damn Momma’s panicking and losing her faith

Came to tell me ’bout a rehab in a beautiful place She said, “Just checking up if you was awake”

She broke down when she seen her son blue in the face and thought

No one ever told me it would be this hard Never really thought that it would take my life, though I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh

Once upon a time we were the happiest couple Knew we always had each other, never had any trouble Always had each other’s backs if we happened to struggle

I left some people in the past and they were mad that I loved you

Said it’s only puppy love, I knew that wasn’t the case I remember getting nervous when I brought you on dates Conversations ’bout the future and copping our own place Talking ’bout the day you’d be sharing my last name I think I’d loved since the time that we met You had my heart and to be honest you was taking my breath All my homies said that I became a little obsessed Never thought that you would get up

And leave me fucking depressed, damn How could you leave me girl, I thought you were the one Treated you like a queen, never lied to you once Now I feel like I’m drowning and there’s water filling me lungs

I don’t wanna be alone, I’m afraid of who I’ve become You’re gone and I fucking hate it, I feel like I’m suffocating You ripped my fucking heart out and never tried to replace it Now when I think about you all I feel is disgust You were all I ever wanted, thanks for fucking it up Everybody that’s around me know that something is wrong They always try to tell me love is the strongest drug of ’em all You know what, huh, I’ma go and see for myself Let me pop a couple Xannys, I’ma see if it helps (it helps)

Oh my God, I think I finally feel alive again Oh my God, I tihnk I’m finally ’bout to smile again And I just started sleeping better at night I think I finally found the feeling of what heaven is like (heaven is like)

They’re getting rid of all my stress when I’m torn And I could tell that they’re relieving all my pressure for sure Soon my dealer told me that he couldn’t get me anymore Now I’m feeling way sicker than I ever did before Shit, I can’t even take a brief intermission Without me throwin’ up and feeling like a piece of me’s missing There was a time I needed love, now I need a perscription I’m done with living like this, I’d rather lethal injection ‘Cause all I think about is pills when I open my eyes

And every day I’m waking up and feeling broken inside When all I really wanted was to feel happy for once But now I’m losing myself and losing my family’s trust, damn I really think these drugs have taken my soul Probably pop ’em till they put me in the grave and I’m cold But I can’t point any fingers, I know the blame is my own I got addicted to a bitch and that’s the fate that I chose (fate that I chose)

No one ever told me it would be this hard Never really thought that it would take my life, though I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh

No one ever told me it would be this hard Never really thought that it would take my life, though I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh


As suicides rise in Wisconsin and across the U.S., our ‘wounded healers’ are more important than ever


Editor’s note: If you or someone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or text “Hopeline” to the National Crisis Text Line at 741-741.

From China to Europe, from India to South America, average suicide rates around the world have fallen 33 percent since 1990.

Not in the United States. American suicide rates are at their highest levels since World War II, making suicide the second leading cause of death between ages 10-34, government data show.

The increase in suicides, combined with record levels of drug overdoses and alcohol-related fatalities, are so extreme that they’re lowering the life expectancy of the average American. Mental health problems disable more American workers than any other affliction — suburban, rural or urban — and caregiver burnout and compassion fatigue are epidemic.  more

World Bipolar Day: “Awareness needs to be raised in society about our disorder”

Marked each year on March 30, World Bipolar Day (WBD) is a world-wide awareness initiative that aims to encourage global education, open discussion, as well as improving sensitivity surrounding bipolar disorder.

As many as 1% to 2% of the British population experience bipolar through their lives and recent research suggested as many as 5% are on the bipolar spectrum.

A severe mental health illness characterised by significant mood swings including manic highs and depressive lows, the majority of individuals with bipolar experience alternating episodes of mania and depression.  more

Newly discharged mental health patients at much higher risk of death

Such patients are 90 times more likely to die from drugs overdose than general population, research finds

People with mental health problems are at a hugely increased risk of dying from unnatural causes, including suicide, soon after they have been discharged from hospital, new research reveals.

Such patients are 38 times more likely to die of fatal poisoning and 90 times more likely to perish from a drugs overdose than the general population, according to a new study.

Experts say the difficulties some people with serious mental illness have in adjusting to life after a spell of inpatient care are likely to explain the higher death rate among that group of vulnerable patients.  more

FEATURE: Bucks man opens up about battle with psychosis in bid to end mental illness stigma

At 16-years old Martyn was a star footballer – however his sporting dreams were shattered when he was told he may never walk again following a devastating injury.

Although the doctors’ fears did not become reality – Martyn was unable to pursue his passion, and found himself sinking into a deep depression.

Years later, after developing paranoia, voices in his head and an addiction to drugs and alcohol, Martyn attempted to kill himself in a desperate bid to end his mental turmoil.

Now 34, the Chalfont St Peter resident is a trustee at mental health charity Buckinghamshire Mind, and is a passionate advocate for Bucks County Council’s (BCC) Time to Change Campaign – which aims to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.  more

Foods That Are Good for Addiction Recovery

It would seem like a no-brainer that the foods you eat can affect your mood. It might also seem obvious that someone with a drug or alcohol problem would be the first to understand how substances they put into their body can affect their mental and physical health — but that isn’t always the case when it comes to healthy food and nutrition. Many people enter rehab with little to no knowledge about proper nutrition and how important it is to the treatment and recovery process.

Therefore, one of the most important components to look for in any prospective drug or alcohol rehab program should be the meal plans they offer and the foods they include in their daily menu. Here are some tips about nutrition during early recovery, as well as a sample rehab meal plan.  more