I checked myself back into the hospital last week. It was a last resort kind of thing, and I was feeling extremely depressed and suicidal. I had self harmed though not badly (if there’s such a thing as wimpy self harm, I have done it) and after a med change and some consultation on my migraines, I’m doing much better. However, here are a few things you miss when you’re in a psych ward.
- Music. A radio is available to patients normally, but if you like anything that wouldn’t be played on a radio, you are out of luck. more
One may assume that following the incredibly romanticized trope of psych wards in popular films, patients are too assuaged with the pain of self-hatred or insane medicinal cocktails to care about eating. False.
What they don’t tell you in the goddamn admitting office is that you won’t sleep your first night, or your last, and that the sum of days wedged between it will begin to seep into one another until they collectively become a turgid hunk of days into night into day again.
This is sundered only by mealtimes, of which there are three. They are spaced incredibly close, and are completely unaccommodating to the insomniac, the manic, the psychotic, the orally fixated, addicts, the depressed. All of which were being housed at M——— Hospital’s psych ward, myself included. We’re directed by the staff to shuffle in at 8 AM, 12 PM, and 5 PM, though the time of service often depended on the whim of the worker serving. (The fourth day I’m there, the food attendant does not serve us until his basketball team scores.) more