We often talk about gratitude like it’s the miracle cure. Don’t get me wrong: While I have a lot in my life to be grateful for, gratitude—like mindfulness, eating clean, and other well-intentioned solutions—can have their dark sides.
The then-partner of one of my clients once told her she should be grateful he hadn’t laid a finger on her since the year began. Another’s told him he had nothing to be depressed or traumatized about and should be grateful she was still there with him, despite her escalating abuse. My ex-partner held me emotionally hostage for every tiny piecemeal change he made before regressing to worse behavior.
You see, gratitude can sometimes become your blinders, your ball and chain in an abusive relationship. more